Seis de Mayo

Holy crap am I excited I get to use that pun.  I literally made mayonnaise…. on the sixth of May…

I’m hilarious, y’all.

Busy day, busy week, busy life, so this is a quick one.

When you’re mid-Pimento Cheese and you discover you’re out of mayonnaise, and all of your back-up items are in storage or on their way to storage, you first text your husband and find a way to blame him for being out of mayonnaise, he then offers to stop by and get you some because he’s going to the store anyway but you hate the fact that you know you have a jar of backup mayonnaise in the box labeled BACK-UP PANTRY, so you just make your own damn mayo.

I’m a special kind of stubborn, ya’ll.

And then when you want to store your own damn mayo and realize all your jars and such are also in storage, you use a whiskey glass instead because clearly that’s an everyday item.

It took me like 15 seconds.  It’s super easy.  Why doesn’t everyone make their own mayonnaise?!  Who knows.  They should.  I don’t even like mayonnaise and this sh*t was killer.  Also it ended up making the most fanciest of fancy Pimento Cheeses on the planet.

Accidentally.

But still, fancy redneck fun times ya’ll.

EASIEST QUICKEST FAIL-PROOF HOMEMADE MAYONNAISE

A food processor can be used, but mine was already dirty from my lazy- cheese shredding of the cheddar for the Pimento Cheese.  So a blender worked totally fine.  I will note that unless you’re making a larger quantity of mayonnaise, the food processor could give you some trouble due to the larger bowl and the less contact with the ingredients.)

All you need to know is that you’re mixing some things first, and then slowly adding in your oil while blending until mayonnaise is made.  It’s totally an eyeball type of thing, but I’m giving you measurements.  The key is to start very slowly with the oil at first… by the drop… and then you can pour it in the thicker it becomes.  And then you’re just stopping with the oil pouring/blending once the mixture looks like what mayonnaise is supposed to look like.  

That’s it!

In a blender/food processor, add…

• 1 large egg, room temperature (best quality is always best 😉 )
• 1 TB dijon mustard (I eyeball the tablespoon)
• 1 TB white wine (or red wine) vinegar (truth be told I used a combo bc I ran out of white wine vinegar!)
• big ‘ole pinch kosher salt (eh… 1/4 tsp or so?)… can taste and adjust later

Put the lid on and start your blender.  Pulse at first, and then blend for about 20-30 seconds to mix it well.

Then, slowly drizzle in (tiny droplets at first)…

• 1 cup canola oil (I don’t pre-measure this, I just pour from the bottle and stop and check on it until it’s ready)
• I also alternated with a few teaspoons or so of good quality, extra virgin olive oil for a little added flavor.  I didn’t want it to be too strong, since it was for Pimento Cheese, but I highly recommend playing with oils if you’re making this for a different purpose.

Keep blending while you add the oil, and stop to check on it every couple of seconds or so… it does not take long, and you will know when it’s done because it’s thick like a mayonnaise should be!!

Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary… some lemon can be added if desired, or more salt, etc.

And you can make this any flavored mayonnaise you’d like by adding herbs, yellow curry, garlic, etc.  It’s all yours!!

Store the mayonnaise in a glass container (preferred) with a close-fitting lid for as long as your eggs are said to be fresh.

…

thanks for reading and happy sunday, ya’ll x