The moon was super and so was I, but I want a cape

So, did you hear about the moon?  It was Super.  And also a hunter’s moon.  I’m too tired to explain in detail what that means.  But basically, a supermoon means a full moon that’s closer to the earth than average… so it’s really big and stuff.  And a hunter’s moon is the full moon after the harvest moon… the harvest moon being the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox…

(We good on the moon talk?)

And I happen to be one of those hippie weirdos who believe that full moons actually have an impact on me and my day.  So I had myself one Super impacted Monday.

It’s not like a bunch of catastrophic stuff happened, or major events… I just didn’t stop moving.  From the second I opened my eyes… All day I was being pulled from one thing to another, living out of my car, getting things done and actually getting them done on time.  A cape and some badass boots would have been Super appropriate for my outfit of the day.  So I’d like go through a quick recap before we get to the edible portion of the post, if that’s cool.

ahem.

Husband and I woke up late, meaning no adult prepping in kid-free silence time for us before the school rush began… (so really, I should have known right then that my day was gonna be fast and bonkers.  but I was too busy being fast and bonkers to think such thoughts.)  We dropped the kids off at school together, I wrote a sad and sloppy excuse for a note to their teachers as they were climbing out of the car and threw them at them- each explaining that the kids would be picked up as walkers instead of car riders that day.  Husband and I headed to gym for our workouts that are generally done separately.

At gym, I found myself in a damn fine workout instead of the usually yawny Monday ones.  Sweat felt Super good after all the weekend salt and booze dying to escape my body.  Wished close friend happy birthday while on treadmill.  Birthday song now stuck inside head.

Came home and husband and I got cleaned up- he left for work and I sat down to start mine with a plate of eggs.  Too rushed and hungry to let said eggs cool and ended up with burnt tongue. I ate and worked on our grocery list… we were out of everything.  All the things.  I was out of commission for most of last week from not feeling well, so really.  We had nothing.  I hadn’t eaten lunch in 4 days.  (I think yesterday I made a meal out of kefir and almonds…?)  Actually clipped coupons for the first time in forever, spent probably an hour at the store but most of that was trying to find this cereal my kids had seen a commercial for that just flat out doesn’t exist.  Also trying to decide which junk snack for school gave me the least amount of heart palpitations.  Checked out.  Saved $100. Patted self on caped back. Was now starving again.

Loaded groceries into cooler in trunk and decided to go back to the gym for my second workout and would eat afterwards.  (My mental process was this:  If I eat now, then I’ll have to wait an hour or so before working out, so…) On the way to gym I realized I still had nothing to eat at home, just a car full of unprepared food.  Changed clothes in gym parking lot.  This time managed to not flash multiple groups of sweaty Christians.  (I work out at a YMCA… should that have been mentioned first?)  Exercised while coming up with awesome lunch plan. Finished workout, drove to Whole Foods, but more specifically sat in traffic and somehow inched my way there, and made myself a bomb salad.  Broke rules by sneaking several bites of chicken tikka masala before I paid.

Feel less guilty after admitting it now.

Still singing birthday song in head.

Ate salad in car.  Salad is hardest thing to eat while driving.  Was mostly driving using left knee operating steering wheel as one hand held salad and other operated plastic fork.  Plastic fork was disappointment- useless, plastic tines unable to stab al dente beets and butternut squash.  Was then reduced to scoop method.  Looked like caveman to passers by.  Too hungry to care.

Came home with 30 minutes before needing to leave again.  Unloaded and unpacked groceries in sweaty clothes and in kitchen where dishwasher was full and so was counter with dirty breakfast dishes. Remembered that when I’m not at home to do it, this is what the kitchen looks like.  Had nobody to be pissed at but self, but self was too busy washing dishes to be in fight with self.

Got dressed in bedroom hurricane.  During which I managed to drop and spill tiny glass jar filled with baking soda and salt all over bathroom floor. (I make my own nasal rinse solution.  Mentally re-directing you now to part of post where I call self hippie weirdo.)  Cleaned up mess with wet rag whilst realizing I just made one hell of a floor scrub cleaner.

(Remember how much we love baking soda on our face?…)

Well, now we love it on our floors too.

Ended up inside tiny sundress with sneakers and a backpack (did you know is was 80 degrees today?!).  Headed out door to speed-walk to school to pick up kids before going back in school for parent-teacher conference.  Realized I looked identical to all 3rd grade girls in hallway.  Tiny, floral, cotton dress?  Check.  Sneaks?  Check.  Backpack?  Check.  Realized this even harder when washing hands next to three students in B Hall bathroom, and sink was appropriate height for all.

Conference over, speed-walked home wishing mental oven-turning on was a thing.  Came home, actually turned oven on, took out chicken to come up to room temp while started chopping veggies for the dinner that should be halfway done by now.

(Chicken had been seasoned and ready to go for days… remember my roast chicken tip from 2 years ago?…)

Got dinner in oven, finished cleaning dishes and unloading dishwasher.  Burned thumb on oven grate.  Burned tongue again.  Because day has not allowed time for food to cool before I need it to be eaten.  This time on sweet potatoes.  Literally feeling why the term ‘hot potato’ is a thing.  Made kid’s school lunches.  Got self and all little people bathed.  (Husband’s cleanliness questionable… I stopped bathing him months ago.)  And somehow we managed to sit down to a done and delicious dinner on time.  Inhaled third meal of the day, having again gone from completely starving and empty, to completely full in matter of seconds.  Did more dishes.

And all this was done with self applied manicure that didn’t chip a bit.  Not once.  Going on three days here, folks.  And I use my hands A LOT.  These little hands are always in something.

It’s my current fav nail polish for the season!

(Aaaand this just became nail polish commercial.  Bam ($$$))

Now I am in bed with tea.  I hate tea.  It’s not wine.  But I try to not hate things and suffer through them instead.

So I will now leave you with the dinner I made last night, which was awesome and amazing and perfect and awesome, and something I just threw together as I went.  I would also like to tell you why I love this picture so much.

At the very click of the shutter on this picture, at that exact moment, I somehow managed to knock over my champagne glass and empty its contents all over my workspace and self, breaking the flute into a million and one pieces all around me.

So this picture right here- this seemingly normal photo with the right amount of intentional casual flair juxtaposed with the fancypantsness of the dish, tells you that I spill shit, I drop stuff, I sometimes look like an 8 year old, I regularly change clothes in parking lots and drive with my knee, I believe in the powers of the moon and baking soda, and I drink tea even though I hate it because I feel like one day it will turn me into a grownup… but…

But.

I will always remember your birthday. And somehow I will manage to make you forget how messy and clumsy I am with a sort-of neat and tidy punctuation at the end of a very long and drawn out, sloppy sentence.

Thanks, Supermoon.  Today was kinda rad.

CRISPY SAGE PORK CHOP

WITH ROSEMARY BLACK LENTILS

AND BROWN BUTTER  – MAPLE FRIED EGG

. orange – clove pork brine .

4 hours before you want to cook, brine your pork chops.  I swear by this brine for all my pork chop and loin cooking.

Bring the following up to a simmer…

• 2 cups water
• 1/4 cup fine salt
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 4 bay leaves
• small handful cloves
• small handful peppercorns
• big splash orange juice (or the juice of an orange with the skin thrown in)

Once the salt and sugar has dissolved, turn off the heat and allow it to cool.

Place in a gallon sized zip bag with your 2 bone-in pork chops.  Seal bag.  Place bag in bowl.

Refrigerate and brine for 4 hours.

Remove from brine, pat dry, bring to room temp before cooking.

. rosemary lentils .

In a medium saucepan, combine the following (for 2 servings)…

• 1 cup water
• 1/2 cup black lentils (these are firmer than most, but the dark green French lentils could also be used)
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 fresh rosemary sprig
• fat pinch kosher salt

Bring to a boil.  Cover.  Reduce to simmer.  Cook for about 30 minutes, or until softened to your liking.  (Note- these should be eaten at al dente and don’t get mushy like domestic lentils do.)

. crispy sage pork chops .

While your lentils are finishing cooking, heat a medium nonstick skillet on med-high.  Drizzle with some light olive oil or canola oil.

Take 3 whole sage leaves and press into the flesh of each pork chop.  Carefully place each chop into the hot oil in the skillet and begin to sear.  Press 3 more whole sage leaves into the up-side of the chops. (This would be 12 total sage leaves for the 2 chops)

Sear the meat 2-3 minutes on the first side before flipping.  Lift and flip carefully so the sage leaves stay stuck to the pork.  They should be golden brown.

Sear for about 1-2 minutes on the other side, depending on how thick your chops are.  If you’re a thermometer person, take them off the heat when they’re at 145-150 degrees and let them rest a bit.

. brown butter – maple eggs .

While your pork is cooking, heat another medium non stick skillet on med-high heat.  (If you don’t have another one, simply wait until your pork is resting and use the same one for the eggs.)

Place 1 TB unsalted butter into the skillet.  Allow it to melt.  Then bubble.  Then brown.

Season butter with a fat pinch of kosher salt.

Crack 2 large eggs into the brown butter.  They will immediately begin to sizzle.

Season eggs with kosher salt.

Once the whites have almost completely cooked through, drizzle both eggs well with maple syrup and a sprinkling of crushed red pepper flakes. It will begin to pop in the pan.  Cover with another pan.  Check about 30 seconds later to see if they’re done.  You want completely firm whites and a thick, runny yolk.

Serve pork chops over lentils and egg over everything.

Enjoy!